Feeling unsure about what to talk about in counselling or psychotherapy is common. In short, there is no limit to what can be discussed. The more open you are, the more effective counselling will be. So long as you talk about what matters to you, you’re on the right track.

Common worries people have before starting therapy include that:

  • they have so much to say they might overwhelm the therapist
  • they might open a can of worms they won’t be able to close
  • there are right things and wrong things to talk about in therapy
  • they don’t have the proper language
  • there’s no point in talking about anything as it can’t change the past anyway.

All these worries are normal and completely understandable. They are also unwarranted. There is no right or wrong way to talk and no subject matter that can’t be explored. Nothing is too big or too small to bring to therapy.

Most clients who struggle with what to say find that it becomes easier with a little time. Therapists are trained to help people talk, and the empathy and non-judgemental approach therapists adopt soon enables clients to open up. If you think you may find it hard to talk in therapy, finding the right therapist is key and we would be happy to help you with our free therapist matching service.

For those who think their problems aren’t important enough, that just isn’t the case. If something affects a client, then it’s worth talking about. Often the clients who think their problems aren’t important are the ones who haven’t been listened to much in their lives. Helping them to view their thoughts and feelings as important is a crucial part of the work.

The boundaries that therapists put in place can feel very containing for clients who worry about having too much to say or opening a can of worms. Clients are encouraged to go at their own pace, without any pressure to go into topics they are not yet ready to address. At One Therapy, we offer open-ended counselling. That means clients can come for as many months or years as they want to, so there’s no rush to talk about everything straight away. They speak to the therapist for 50 minutes once a week and they don’t have to think about their issues between sessions if they don’t feel able to.

FAQs

Can I talk about the past?

Yes. You can talk about the past, the present, the future or all three – whatever’s important to you?

Do I have to talk about trauma?

No. Therapy is for talking about whatever you want to talk about. It doesn’t have to be at the level of trauma. Many people who have counselling haven’t been through trauma. If you have experienced trauma, you don’t have to talk about it unless you want to.

Can I change topics?

Yes. Some sessions are on a single topic, some meander between related topics. Some cover completely unrelated topics. It’s all fine.

Do I have to talk about the same thing every session?

Not at all. Some clients have a particular focus that they return to each week. Most have several recurring topics, including events from their daily life and their past.

What happens if I get emotional?

While it’s normal to worry about getting emotional in your therapy session, let me reassure you that it’s perfectly alright and, in fact, it’s a valuable part of the process. Expressing your emotions in the presence of a therapist can help you to feel lighter and it can help the therapist to understand you. They won’t judge you or tell you that you shouldn’t feel the way you do. They will hear you and have compassion for what you are going through.

Man talking to therapist

Therapy is not always easy, but it may be less difficult than you think

Many clients find that exploring difficult topics and sharing them with the therapist isn’t nearly as overwhelming as they expect. They also see that the therapist can hear whatever they have to say and be okay with it. This shows the client something really valuable: that they and their story are not “too much”.

As integrative therapist Amrita Athwal points out, learning about our pasts helps us make sense of the present and exploring the present sheds light on unconscious material from our pasts. With the therapist’s help, the client makes links between the two, thus understanding themselves better.

Is there a right way to talk in therapy?

For some people, the worry is how they should talk:

  • Are they allowed to swear? (Yes.)
  • Do they need to keep a lid on their emotions? (Absolutely not.)
  • Will they need to understand terminology like the unconscious, the ego, transference, and so on? (They won’t. It is the therapist’s job to talk in a way that their client can understand, and there’s no need to use technical terms.)

Clients are free to talk however they want to talk and to use the words they would use if they were talking to a friend.

Finally there are those who think there is no point in talking about anything in counselling. While talking doesn’t change the past, it enables us to process our feelings and understand the impact these events or experiences have had on us. It helps us to tolerate the difficult emotions we often try so hard to bury.

Examples of what you can talk about in therapy

You may find it reassuring to hear the sorts of things that are often talked about in counselling sessions. Please remember though that there is no subject that can’t be brought to your sessions, so don’t be discouraged if you want to bring a topic that isn’t on this list – it’s still fine!

Do I need to plan what to say in therapy?

The short answer to this is no. You can turn up to your session with no idea what you want to talk about and your therapist will help you to find a topic that matters to you. However, you’ll probably get more out of your therapy sessions if you give some thought beforehand to what you’d like to talk about. You don’t have to have it all planned out – just the broad topic is enough.

What if I have nothing to talk about in my counselling session?

Things happen to you every day and you have emotional reactions to them. If you think you have nothing to talk about, it’s likely what you really mean is The stuff that happens to me and how I feel about it isn’t worth talking about. That in itself is a good topic for exploration.

Your therapist will help you to find topics to talk about. Of course, some weeks are more eventful than others. You might arrive at some sessions not knowing what to talk about because nothing’s particularly upset you that week. It’s still valuable to talk about the small stuff or the good stuff.

Please try to put aside your worries about what to talk about. Whatever you want to say and however you want to say it is fine with us.


Ready to talk? Book an initial consultation.

Kate Crawford is Head of Therapy Services at One Therapy London.

Last updated: 27 May 2026

Published: 8 June 2019