We all hold ourselves back at times, but some people repeatedly act in ways that harm themselves.
Though it may seem surprising that anyone would hinder or sabotage their own wellbeing, the truth is that many people live with underlying psychological drives to do just that. We are all products of our life experiences and sometimes those experiences create drives to hold us back or hurt ourselves.
Addiction is one example of behaviour that damages people’s lives, but not all self-destructive behaviour falls under the umbrella of addiction.
Common self-destructive behaviours include:
- drug or alcohol misuse
- risky or unprotected sex
- uncontrolled gambling
- cutting, burning, hair pulling
- overuse of porn
- chronic procrastination
- unhealthy or disordered eating
- overspending or going into debt
- avoiding responsibility
- ending or destroying personal relationships
- sabotaging career or work
- having affairs or pushing partners away
Why are people self-destructive?
There are many reasons people can act in self-destructive ways. They may be in so much pain that they want to numb it with substances. They may hate their body so much that they feel driven to damage it. They may feel like such a fraud at work that they sabotage their job before they can be found out. They may long for intimacy so much that they seek out sex where it feels like intimacy but may not be safe.
Sometimes, self-destructive behaviour originates from coping strategies. Self-coping mechanisms that were needed and effective in the past may have gotten out of control and now do more harm than good. It’s sometimes hard to recognise when a coping mechanism has gone past its expiry date and is no longer helping.
Often, people recognise their own self-destructive behaviour but feel unable to change it. The psychological drives behind the behaviour are so strong that people can feel powerless in the face of them.
Moving beyond self-destructive behaviour is possible.
Understanding self-destructive behaviour is the first step in getting it under control
Therapy for self-destructive behaviour seeks to understand the underlying causes of the problematic behaviour. The history, patterns and triggers of the self-destructive behaviour will be considered. It can also be useful to understand the purpose of negative behaviour patterns: Why am I doing this to myself? What part of me am I trying to destroy? Why does this behaviour feel outside of my control?
We have seen many clients with all types of self-destructive behaviour. If you would like to make a first appointment to speak with a therapist about any worrying behaviour, please contact us or book online.
Learn how to put an end to your self-destructive behaviour and create the life you want
Meet our therapists working with with self-destructive behaviours
