Intimate relationships play a central role in the human experience. We have a universal need to belong which is satisfied when close relationships are formed.
In some people, this need to form close relationships is suppressed. Typically this might happen when a person has had a poor experience of relationships and fears being hurt again. Getting emotionally close to someone involves vulnerability and trust, which can be frightening.
Others get into relationships that are ultimately harmful to them. For example, they might subconsciously choose partners who take too much from them or are emotionally unavailable.
All of us tend to repeat patterns from one intimate relationship to the next. Relationships are complex and difficult to navigate. Most of us received no teaching about how to be in relationships; we learnt by observing our parents/caregivers and through our own relationships with them. We adopted patterns of relating that we saw them use or that we needed to adopt to cope with them, whether healthy or unhealthy.
Whatever your relationship issue, counselling can help
If you are in a relationship and the issues you want to address are occurring there, it is probably most beneficial to come as a couple. If that isn’t possible, or if you aren’t in a relationship at the moment, then come on your own – our relationship therapists will be able to help you either way.
If you come as a couple, your counsellor will facilitate discussions between the two of you and will be able to see first hand any problematic dynamics within the relationship. They will help you to understand these and to adopt new ways of relating to each other.
Whether your relationship is gay or straight, monogamous or open, your therapist won’t judge you. Discussions in therapy are confidential.
Our therapists don’t have an agenda to keep the two of you together; that is up to you to decide. If you choose to end your relationship, counselling can help you to do it with clear communication, without attacking each other or causing unnecessary distress to children if you have them.
Some of our relationship therapists are also trained in psychosexual therapy. If sexual issues are a concern for you, you may prefer to see one of them.
Issues commonly brought to relationship therapy
The issues we frequently see in relationship therapy include:
- difficulty, or fear of, forming intimate relationships
- frequent or explosive arguments
- disagreements over parenting
- deciding whether to split up
- infidelity
- loving one another but not feeling in love
- communication difficulties
- sexual dissatisfaction or loss of interest in sex.
Taking the next step to improve your relationships
Starting relationship therapy can be difficult. It means facing up to the problems in your relationship and you (or your partner) may feel scared to do that. Often, couples put off coming to therapy until their relationship has reached a point of crisis, when animosity has built up or one partner has already checked out. Counselling is still helpful at that stage, but it’s better to come to therapy before things reach that point.
If you (or your partner) is resistant to starting therapy, an initial consultation may put your mind at ease. You will see that our therapists are supportive and non-judgmental. We choose our therapists carefully, hiring only those who are warm, empathic and knowledgeable. They create a safe space in which you can share your hurts, worries and hopes. They will help you to understand each other and to feel heard.
There is no obligation to continue with therapy after the initial consultation; it’s your opportunity to decide whether it’s the right thing for you.
You can book your initial consultation online, or contact us here. We want to help.
Meet our therapists working with relationship issues
