Abuse is the intentional harming of one person by another
Abuse usually involves one person controlling, harming and coercing the other. It can occur between any two people, but is often between partners in a relationship, or perpetrated on children by adults.
Abuse in its many forms is depressingly common. The Crime Survey for England and Wales estimates that one in five adults experienced at least one form of abuse before they were 16 years old. The same organisation estimates that 7.8% of adults experience domestic abuse each year, with women around twice as likely to experience abuse as men. Police recorded 816,493 domestic-abuse related crimes in England and Wales in the year ended March 2025 with 54,987 domestic abuse-related prosecutions in that same year. (Office for National Statistics, 2026)
Abuse, in its many forms, happens far too often.
Abuse can happen at home, at school, in the workplace or anywhere. It can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, sexuality, or ethnicity.
There are many different types of abuse
This involves one person forcing or manipulating another into sexual activity. It may involve physical contact, such as sexual touch or rape, or it may be non-contact abuse, such as showing pornography to someone else. Non-contact abuse can happen in person or online. Some people who are being sexually abused may not understand what is happening, and may feel unable to object.
Physical abuse involves causing intentional physical harm to another person. It may include acts such as hitting, slapping, starving, shaking, burning and biting. It invariably creates fear, which enables the abuser to control the other person, so there is often an emotional impact alongside the physical abuse.
This is deliberately trying to make a person feel bad emotionally. Some of the ways a person might emotionally abuse another include humiliating the person, gaslighting the person (convincing them that they are wrong about things so they start to doubt their own sense of reality), using degrading language, or not allowing the person to have friends. There are many ways emotional or psychological abuse can be perpetrated against a person.
Neglect occurs when an adult with responsibility for another person (usually a child) does not take care of that person’s needs. It may include not feeding them, leaving them alone when they are unable to look after themselves, failing to provide medical care during illness, not responding to their emotional needs or failing to provide the stimulation or education they require to develop.
Financial abuse is controlling another person’s money or financial assets. Examples of financial abuse are taking someone’s money, exploiting a person for financial gain, monitoring someone else’s credit card bills, coercing someone into handing over wages, taking bank cards or threatening other abusive behaviour if the person spends money without permission.
The term “domestic abuse” is used when any form of abuse happens between people in an intimate or family relationship. They need not live together and the abuse need not happen inside the home. UK law now recognises witnessing domestic abuse as a form of abuse in its own right. In other words, just witnessing abuse is, in itself, a form of abuse. The term “domestic violence” is often used, but there need not be physical violence involved for it to be domestic abuse.
This is any abuse that happens online. It is widely associated with social media but can also take place through other platforms such as email, text and online gaming sites. Examples of online abuse are cyber-bullying, grooming and sharing private photos or videos without permission (revenge porn).
Can therapy help?
Counselling for abuse is done very carefully. Every person will have their own response to the abuse they’ve experienced and therapy will move at a pace that is appropriate to each client.
Abusive experiences are hard to escape. They leave behind a wide range of difficult emotions that can be challenging to overcome. A therapist experienced in working with abuse will know how to address these complex feelings.
Having someone whose role is to listen without judgement in a safe, confidential setting can be really valuable.
The impact of abuse
Abuse can have a devastating effect on a person’s life. Many people never talk about the abuse they have experienced to anyone. Instead they carry their experiences of abuse around with them, often with heavy feelings of shame and guilt. Sometimes victims of abuse blame themselves, whereas in fact the abuse is never their fault.
It’s common for survivors of abuse to find it harder to study or to thrive in their careers. Sadly, experiencing abuse as a child also makes a person more likely to find themselves in abusive relationships as an adult. This isn’t surprising when you think about the messages that abuse gives a person about how relationships work. Survivors of abuse may also experience mental and physical health problems or may turn to self-harm, drugs or alcohol as a way to cope with their feelings around the abuse.
Both face-to-face and online counselling are available to those who have experienced abuse.
Take the first step in dealing with abuse
At One Therapy London, we work with individuals and couples who have experienced abuse in the past or are experiencing it currently. We know how valuable it is for those who have experienced abuse to be heard, but we also know that overcoming abuse needs to happen at each client’s own pace. For many, thoughts of the abuse have been locked away and there is great fear attached to discussing and possibly re-living the abusive experiences.
We take things slowly and there is no pressure for anyone to talk about anything before they feel ready. Invariably there is a mixture of feelings around the abuse – sadness, anger, shame, confusion and more. There may also be confusing or conflicting feelings towards the abuser, particularly if it is a family member. These feelings can be expressed and processed in therapy without judgment.
The first step is to make a booking for a first appointment. We know it can be terrifying for survivors of abuse, but we also know how important it is to take that first step on the path to overcoming abusive experiences.
Put your well-being in our hands
Abuse, in whatever form, can have devastating consequences on a person’s well-being. We’ve helped many clients move on from abusive experiences.
You can choose your own therapist from our therapist profiles or try our free Therapist Matching Service if you are not sure where to start.
Meet our therapists working with abuse
