Self-destructive behaviour

We all hold ourselves back at times, but some people repeatedly act in ways that harm themselves.

Though it may seem surprising that anyone would hinder or sabotage their own wellbeing, the truth is that many people live with underlying psychological drives to do just that. We are all products of our life experiences and sometimes those experiences create drives to hold us back or hurt ourselves.

Addiction is one example of behaviour that damages people’s lives, but not all self-destructive behaviour falls under the umbrella of addiction. 

Common self-destructive behaviours include:

  • drug or alcohol misuse
  • risky or unprotected sex
  • uncontrolled gambling
  • cutting, burning, hair pulling
  • overuse of porn
  • chronic procrastination
  • unhealthy or disordered eating
  • overspending or going into debt
  • avoiding responsibility
  • ending or destroying personal relationships
  • sabotaging career or work
  • having affairs or pushing partners away

Why are people self-destructive?

There are many reasons people can act in self-destructive ways. They may be in so much pain that they want to numb it with substances. They may hate their body so much that they feel driven to damage it. They may feel like such a fraud at work that they sabotage their job before they can be found out. They may long for intimacy so much that they seek out sex where it feels like intimacy but may not be safe.

Sometimes, self-destructive behaviour originates from coping strategies. Self-coping mechanisms that were needed and effective in the past may have gotten out of control and now do more harm than good. It’s sometimes hard to recognise when a coping mechanism has gone past its expiry date and is no longer helping.

Often, people recognise their own self-destructive behaviour but feel unable to change it. The psychological drives behind the behaviour are so strong that people can feel powerless in the face of them.

Moving beyond self-destructive behaviour is possible.

Our clients have reported great results!

Mr K
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“I was attending sessions at One Therapy practice for about 1 1/2 years. I am very happy with the result, sessions there really helped me. I am really grateful to my therapist. Someone recommended him to me as a high professional and it proved right, thank you.”
Mrs M
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“I can only provide positive comments on my sessions with (my therapist). This was my first experience with a therapist, and she managed to make me feel comfortable. And I must say that the sessions were helpful and efficient.”
Mrs E
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“My therapist was extremely helpful, considerate and understanding. I felt she properly understood what the issues I had were, and their underlying causes, and I feel I benefited considerably from the sessions with her.”
Mrs N
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“I immediately felt completely at ease as they were very professional while showing genuine care and interest in helping me. I was able to confront many issues which I had so far chosen to ignore despite their negative effects on my personal relationships and happiness. I would have no hesitation in recommending (One Therapy) to anyone looking to improve their relationships and self-esteem.”
Mrs L
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“I learned a lot about myself and about the relationships I make with other people. I was able to see where I was going wrong and I now make better personal choices. Thank you, again.”
Mrs R
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“I can’t thank you enough for the help and support I got from my appointments. I would highly recommend therapy to anyone now. Therapy helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. Please tell (my therapist) how grateful I am for her help.”

Understanding self-destructive behaviour is the first step in getting it under control

Therapy for self-destructive behaviour seeks to understand the underlying causes of the problematic behaviour. The history, patterns and triggers of the self-destructive behaviour will be considered. It can also be useful to understand the purpose of negative behaviour patterns: Why am I doing this to myself? What part of me am I trying to destroy? Why does this behaviour feel outside of my control?

We have seen many clients with all types of self-destructive behaviour. If you would like to make a first appointment to speak with a therapist about any worrying behaviour, please contact us or book online. 

Learn how to put an end to your self-destructive behaviour and create the life you want

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Counselling for individuals

Personal counselling can be about anything that is on your mind.

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Couples counselling

Couples counselling provides space for couples to discuss problems in their relationship and find solutions.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Therapist Gregory Hamlin
Gregory Hamlin

Gregory is a psychodynamic therapist offering both short-term and long -term therapy to individuals He appreciates how difficult it can be to seek help and therefore places great importance on creating a warm, empathic and safe space for clients to explore whatever is on their minds Gregory helps individuals uncover and understand the underlying patterns that shape...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Aaron McGuinnes
Aaron McGuinness

Aaron offers a psychodynamic approach to psychotherapy which emphasises the unconscious mind and its influence on clients’ behaviour It often involves exploring past experiences and their impact on present-day thoughts and feelings Aaron creates a safe and supportive environment where clients can express themselves freely without fear of judgment Aaron is open to...

Oxford Circus

Kensington

Therapist Jayne Levy
Jayne Levy

Jayne has a gentle and empathic approach, allowing clients to feel comfortable and relaxed as they begin therapy She offers a non-judgmental and confidential space where clients are safe to express their feelings and thoughts and explore some of the difficulties and challenges they may be experiencing As a humanistic integrative therapist, Jayne is guided by her...

Oxford Circus

Lara Vasey

Lara is an integrative therapist who offers short- and longer-term therapy to individuals Starting therapy can feel daunting, but Lara’s warm demeanour helps her clients feel more comfortable She creates a confidential and non-judgemental environment, which enables her clients to open up about their thoughts, feelings and experiences With empathy and curiosity, her...

Kensington

Therapist Evan Bates
Evan Bates

Evan is a psychodynamic therapist, offering both long and short term therapy He creates a non-judgemental and reflective space to help clients explore their difficulties and concerns Working together to understand the connections between past and current relationships, Evan supports clients in developing a deeper awareness of their recurring emotional patterns and further...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Geraldine Lothian
Geraldine Lothian

Geraldine (she/her) is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who works with individuals Geraldine’s style of therapy is to work collaboratively with her clients and at each client’s pace  It is sometimes difficult to make the decision to start therapy but Geraldine works together with her clients to address any issues that may feel difficult to explore on their own ...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Ben Brackenbury
Ben Brackenbury

Ben believes that at times we all struggle with the challenges life has to offer and therapy provides a safe, confidential, non-judgemental space to explore this Ben works with individuals to make sense of who they are and how they respond to the world today, and to explore new ways of being Ben is also sensitive to how difficult it might be for a client to talk to a...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Shelly Klein
Shelley Klein

As a psychodynamic therapist Shelley brings a wealth of experience to her work and supports her patients to talk about those aspects of their lives they are finding painful, upsetting or difficult to deal with, in a confidential, non-judgmental and peaceful setting Shelley is particularly interested in working with those who are experiencing depression, bereavement, high...

Bloomsbury

Therapist Yussef Ferguson
Yussef Ferguson

Yussef is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who offers both long and short term personal therapy to individuals He has experience of working with a diverse range of clients and can provide a warm, confidential space to explore and gain insight into any past or present personal difficulties and experiences Yussef works with issues such as anxiety, depression, loss,...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Marta Pisarri
Marta Pisarri

Marta is a psychologist and an integrative psychotherapist: she has been working in the field of mental health for over 12 years in both private and public sectors She provides psychotherapeutic support to individuals and families Marta provides individual therapy for those who struggle to manage life's challenges, want to improve their relationships, discard thoughts...

Oxford Circus