Male Sexual Abuse

People tend to think of sexual abuse being committed against girls and women. There’s a myth that boys and men can’t be sexually abused. They can, and it happens often.

Sexual abuse can happen in an intimate relationship, with someone you know or with a stranger. It can happen to any male, regardless of their age, size or sexuality. Most sexual abusers are male but females can also be sexual abusers.

Many men who have experienced sexual abuse think what they went through wasn’t really abuse. It can be easy to rationalise unwanted sexual experiences. Sexual abuse needn’t involve penetration or even physical contact. Any sexual activity that you didn’t consent to or were pressured into is sexual abuse. This includes being spoken to in a sexually degrading way or being forced to watch porn or masturbate. Sexual arousal doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse. Erections are a physical response to stimulation; they don’t mean you wanted or welcomed the sexual experience. And if you weren’t sober when it happened, that doesn’t mean you were to blame; taking sexual advantage of someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs is abuse.

How does sexual abuse affect men?

Men who have been sexually abused can experience a wide range of issues including:

●    shock and denial
●    deep shame and guilt
●    anger, which they may find hard to express appropriately
●    worry that the abuse has affected their sexual orientation
●    blanks in their memory and confusion about what happened
●    increased reliance on drink or drugs
●    anxiety that the abuse might turn them into an abuser
●    fear of intimacy
●    sexual problems such as loss of erections or low desire
●    flashbacks.

How we can help

Therapy provides sexually abused men with a safe space to untangle the thoughts and feelings they have about their abuse. Together we can make sense of what you experienced and how it has impacted you. For many men, a key part of therapy is understanding that only their abuser is responsible for the abuse, which helps them to feel less shame and guilt themselves. An experienced counsellor or psychotherapist will work with clients who have experienced sexual abuse carefully and confidentially.

If you are also experiencing sexual problems following sexual abuse, our psychosexual therapists can help.

It is really important that sexually abused men are able to take therapy at their own pace. The thought of discussing the abuse can be terrifying. Many abused men fear that once they open the box and look at the abuse, they won’t be able to close it and will be overwhelmed with unbearable feelings. So, we take it slow and never pressure our clients into talking about anything before they are ready.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Therapist Kerry McEwen
Kerry McEwen

A BACP registered member, qualified to an advanced-level in psychodynamic psychotherapy, Kerry offers a confidential and supportive space for both short and long-term therapy Kerry recognises that painful memories are often buried deeply within the unconscious, frequently manifesting in unhelpful patterns of behaviour and ways of relating to others Additionally these...


Therapist Asma Gharbi
Asma Gharbi

Consultant Psychodynamic Psychotherapist Couples and Relationship Therapist Counselling Psychologist Asma offers psychodynamic, humanistic and integrative therapies to individuals and couples She tailors her approach to meet the needs and preferences of her clients She offers short and long term therapy Asma provides a non-judgemental space for her clients, where they...

Oxford Circus


Therapist Geraldine Lothian
Geraldine Lothian

Consultant Therapist Geraldine (she/her) is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who works with individuals Geraldine’s style of therapy is to work collaboratively with her clients and at each client’s pace  It is sometimes difficult to make the decision to start therapy but Geraldine works together with her clients to address any issues that may feel difficult to...


Therapist Yussef Ferguson
Yussef Ferguson

Consultant Psychodynamic Psychotherapist MSc Psychodynamic Counselling and Psychotherapy BA (Hons) Social Work Yussef is a Psychodynamic Psychotherapist who offers both long and short term personal therapy to individuals He has experience of working with a diverse range of clients and can provide a warm, confidential space to explore and gain insight into any past or...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Magda Piesiewicz
Magda Piesiewicz

Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist MSc in Psychology Post Graduate Diploma in Clinical Sexology Magda helps couples and individuals who are facing psychosexual and relationship struggles She also specialises in compulsive sexual behaviours (often misunderstood as sex addiction) She aims to create a non-judgmental, supportive space where her clients can be open...


Therapist Marta Pisarri
Marta Pisarri

Consultant Integrative Psychotherapist Visiting lecturer at Regent's University Diploma in Somatic Trauma Therapy Advance Diploma in Integrative Psychotherapy MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy MSc in Clinical Psychology Marta is a psychologist and an integrative psychotherapist: she has been working in the field of mental health for over 12 years in both private...



Therapist Annie Curran-White
Annie Curran-White

Senior Consultant Therapist MA Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy Awareness in Bereavement Care With a Masters degree in Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy, Annie offers both short and long term, open-ended therapy to individuals Her experience includes depression, stress and anxiety, bereavement, loss, personal development and trauma Annie has...


Therapist Shelly Klein
Shelley Klein

Consultant Therapist As a psychodynamic therapist Shelley brings a wealth of experience to her work and supports her patients to talk about those aspects of their lives they are finding painful, upsetting or difficult to deal with, in a confidential, non-judgmental and peaceful setting Shelley is particularly interested in working with those who are experiencing...


Therapist Patricia Connolly
Patricia Connolly

Consultant Psychodynamic Psychotherapist Patricia works within a psychodynamic approach This focuses on early life experience and  relationships to help you understand how they shape who you are in the present When you begin to more fully explore your emotions and attitudes you can find a deeper self–knowledge, which can also transform the way you relate to...


Therapist Barbara Beyaz
Barbara Beyaz

Consultant Therapist MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy Postgraduate Certificate in Integrative Psychotherapy Barbara brings a warm, non-judgmental, and accepting attitude to her work with clients As an integrative Psychotherapist, she draws from a range of theoretical perspectives which allows her to tailor therapy to the needs of the client Barbara thinks that...