Male Sexual Abuse

People tend to think of sexual abuse being committed against girls and women. There’s a myth that boys and men can’t be sexually abused. They can, and it happens often.

Sexual abuse can happen in an intimate relationship, with someone you know or with a stranger. It can happen to any male, regardless of their age, size or sexuality. Most sexual abusers are male but females can also be sexual abusers.

Many men who have experienced sexual abuse think what they went through wasn’t really abuse. It can be easy to rationalise unwanted sexual experiences. Sexual abuse needn’t involve penetration or even physical contact. Any sexual activity that you didn’t consent to or were pressured into is sexual abuse. This includes being spoken to in a sexually degrading way or being forced to watch porn or masturbate. Sexual arousal doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse. Erections are a physical response to stimulation; they don’t mean you wanted or welcomed the sexual experience. And if you weren’t sober when it happened, that doesn’t mean you were to blame; taking sexual advantage of someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs is abuse.

How does sexual abuse affect men?

Men who have been sexually abused can experience a wide range of issues including:

●    shock and denial
●    deep shame and guilt
●    anger, which they may find hard to express appropriately
●    worry that the abuse has affected their sexual orientation
●    blanks in their memory and confusion about what happened
●    increased reliance on drink or drugs
●    anxiety that the abuse might turn them into an abuser
●    fear of intimacy
●    sexual problems such as loss of erections or low desire
●    flashbacks.

How we can help

Therapy provides sexually abused men with a safe space to untangle the thoughts and feelings they have about their abuse. Together we can make sense of what you experienced and how it has impacted you. For many men, a key part of therapy is understanding that only their abuser is responsible for the abuse, which helps them to feel less shame and guilt themselves. An experienced counsellor or psychotherapist will work with clients who have experienced sexual abuse carefully and confidentially.

If you are also experiencing sexual problems following sexual abuse, our psychosexual therapists can help.

It is really important that sexually abused men are able to take therapy at their own pace. The thought of discussing the abuse can be terrifying. Many abused men fear that once they open the box and look at the abuse, they won’t be able to close it and will be overwhelmed with unbearable feelings. So, we take it slow and never pressure our clients into talking about anything before they are ready.

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Therapists in London

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Therapist Toulla Nicolaides
Toulla Nicolaides

Consultant Therapist Toulla is an integrative relational therapist using a combination of therapeutic approaches to help her clients She provides a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their difficulties in life, relationships and childhood and to share and resolve confusing and overwhelming feelings Toulla believes that, though challenging,...


Therapist Ameet Magan
Ameet Magan

Consultant Therapist Ameet is from London and holds an MSc in Integrative Psychotherapy He has more than a decade’s experience of working in a one-to-one capacity with clients He has also trained in groupwork and has worked since 2016 as a group psychotherapist and clinical practitioner with the NHS in East London Ameet is a warm, grounded and reflective person He...


Therapist Stamatia Lorentzou
Stamatia Lorentzou

Senior Consultant Therapist Stamatia draws on a broad range of theories of psychotherapy She works collaboratively with her clients to understand the causes of their concern and find ways to move forward Stamatia offers both short-term and longer-term therapy She has worked in various organisational settings with individuals seeking to address relationship issues,...


Therapist Jackson
Dwayne Jackson

Senior Consultant Therapist Founder and Director Jackson has lived in USA, Hong Kong and London He studied psychology in America and integrative psychotherapy in the United Kingdom Jackson is open to discussing any life experience or behaviour a client might put forward He feels there should be no shame or judgement in discussing life choices, experiences or...


Therapist Nicola Reeves
Nicola Reeves

Consultant Therapist MA Psychodynamic Psychotherapy  EMDR Practitioner Qualified Clinical Supervisor Nicola is a psychodynamic psychotherapist and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapist Nicola believes in giving clients time and space to approach therapy in the way they need to approach it She finds this is the best way to develop a...


Therapist Rhiannon Whipps
Rhiannon Whipps

Consultant Therapist Rhiannon is a psychodynamic counsellor and psychotherapist with over ten years experience of working within the field of mental health Rhiannon provides an empathic and non-judgemental therapeutic space for her clients to explore any difficulties which they may be facing Within the safety of a confidential environment, she encourages her clients...

Oxford Circus


Therapist Marta Pisarri
Marta Pisarri

Consultant Integrative Psychotherapist Visiting lecturer at Regent's University Diploma in Somatic Trauma Therapy Advance Diploma in Integrative Psychotherapy MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy MSc in Clinical Psychology Marta is a psychologist and an integrative psychotherapist: she has been working in the field of mental health for over 12 years in both private...


Therapist Silvi Naskinova
Silvi Naskinova

Consultant Therapist MSc in Psychodynamic Counselling and Psychotherapy HE in Humanistic and Psychodynamic Counselling Silvi is a Psychodynamic Psychotherapist offering both long and shorter-term therapy  She aims to provide a safe, supportive and non-judgmental space for her clients to explore whatever is on their minds Her work...

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Therapist Evan Bates
Evan Bates

Consultant Therapist Evan is a psychodynamic therapist, offering both long and short term therapy He creates a non-judgemental and reflective space to help clients explore their difficulties and concerns Working together to understand the connections between past and current relationships, Evan supports clients in developing a deeper awareness of their recurring...



Therapist Patricia Connolly
Patricia Connolly

Consultant Psychodynamic Psychotherapist Patricia works within a psychodynamic approach This focuses on early life experience and  relationships to help you understand how they shape who you are in the present When you begin to more fully explore your emotions and attitudes you can find a deeper self–knowledge, which can also transform the way you relate to...