Male sexual abuse

People tend to think of sexual abuse being committed against girls and women. There’s a myth that boys and men can’t be sexually abused. They can, and it happens often.

Sexual abuse can happen in an intimate relationship, with someone you know or with a stranger. It can happen to any male, regardless of their age, size or sexuality. Most sexual abusers are male but females can also be sexual abusers.

Many men who have experienced sexual abuse think what they went through wasn’t really abuse. It can be easy to rationalise unwanted sexual experiences. Sexual abuse needn’t involve penetration or even physical contact. 

Any sexual activity that you didn’t consent to or were pressured into is sexual abuse. This includes being spoken to in a sexually degrading way or being forced to watch porn or masturbate. 

If you became aroused, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse. Erections are a physical response to stimulation; they don’t mean you wanted or welcomed the sexual experience. And if you weren’t sober when it happened, that doesn’t mean you were to blame; taking sexual advantage of someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs is abuse.

How does sexual abuse affect men?

Men who have been sexually abused can experience a wide range of issues including:

●    shock and denial
●    deep shame and guilt
●    anger, which they may find hard to express appropriately
●    worry that the abuse has affected their sexual orientation
●    blanks in their memory and confusion about what happened
●    increased reliance on drink or drugs
●    anxiety that the abuse might turn them into an abuser
●    fear of intimacy
●    sexual problems such as loss of erections or low desire
●    flashbacks.

Everyone deserves to be in a good place

Therapy provides sexually abused men with a safe space to untangle the thoughts and feelings they have about their abuse. Together we can make sense of what you experienced and how it has impacted you. 

For many men, a key part of therapy is understanding that only their abuser is responsible for the abuse, which helps them to feel less shame and guilt. An experienced counsellor or psychotherapist will work with clients who have experienced sexual abuse carefully and confidentially.

If you are also experiencing sexual problems following sexual abuse, our psychosexual therapists can help.

It is really important that sexually abused men are able to take therapy at their own pace. The thought of discussing the abuse can be terrifying. Many abused men fear that once they open the box and look at the abuse, they won’t be able to close it and will be overwhelmed with unbearable feelings. So, we take it slow and never pressure our clients into talking about anything before they are ready.

Our clients have reported great results!

Mr K
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“I was attending sessions at One Therapy practice for about 1 1/2 years. I am very happy with the result, sessions there really helped me. I am really grateful to my therapist. Someone recommended him to me as a high professional and it proved right, thank you.”
Mrs M
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“I can only provide positive comments on my sessions with (my therapist). This was my first experience with a therapist, and she managed to make me feel comfortable. And I must say that the sessions were helpful and efficient.”
Mrs E
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“My therapist was extremely helpful, considerate and understanding. I felt she properly understood what the issues I had were, and their underlying causes, and I feel I benefited considerably from the sessions with her.”
Mrs N
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“I immediately felt completely at ease as they were very professional while showing genuine care and interest in helping me. I was able to confront many issues which I had so far chosen to ignore despite their negative effects on my personal relationships and happiness. I would have no hesitation in recommending (One Therapy) to anyone looking to improve their relationships and self-esteem.”
Mrs L
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“I learned a lot about myself and about the relationships I make with other people. I was able to see where I was going wrong and I now make better personal choices. Thank you, again.”
Mrs R
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“I can’t thank you enough for the help and support I got from my appointments. I would highly recommend therapy to anyone now. Therapy helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. Please tell (my therapist) how grateful I am for her help.”

What to expect in counselling

When I trained as a psychotherapist, me and my fellow students were given the assignment of doing something we’d never done before. The course tutors wanted us to get in touch with how scary it can be to do something new, to feel the fear of the unknown. I chose to …

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How does therapy help?

Over the years that I’ve worked as a therapist, I’ve been asked numerous times by prospective clients, “How does counselling help?”  And I’ve yet to come up with a satisfactory answer. Not because I’m in any doubt that it helps, but because the ‘how’ bit is so hard to articulate concisely…

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Counselling for individuals

Personal counselling can be about anything that is on your mind.

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Couples counselling

Couples counselling provides space for couples to discuss problems in their relationship and find solutions.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Gregory Hamlin - Therapist
Gregory Hamlin

Gregory is a psychodynamic therapist offering both short-term and long -term therapy to individuals He appreciates how difficult it can be to seek help and therefore places great importance on creating a warm, empathic and safe space for clients to explore whatever is on their minds Gregory helps individuals uncover and understand the underlying patterns that shape...

Oxford Circus

Paula Broome - Therapist
Paula Broome

Paula is a popular integrative therapist who understands that the client-therapist alliance is paramount Providing a place of safety and empowerment, she supports clients living with anxiety and depression, and has extensive training in neurodivergence and disability, including supporting clients with long-term health conditions As well as her private practice, Paula...

Oxford Circus

Aaron McGuinness - Therapist
Aaron McGuinness

Aaron offers a psychodynamic approach to psychotherapy which emphasises the unconscious mind and its influence on clients’ behaviour It often involves exploring past experiences and their impact on present-day thoughts and feelings Aaron creates a safe and supportive environment where clients can express themselves freely without fear of judgment Aaron is open to...

Oxford Circus

Kensington

Lara Vasey

Lara is an integrative therapist who offers short- and longer-term therapy to individuals Starting therapy can feel daunting, but Lara’s warm demeanour helps her clients feel more comfortable She creates a confidential and non-judgemental environment, which enables her clients to open up about their thoughts, feelings and experiences With empathy and curiosity, her...

Kensington

Jayne Levy - Therapist
Jayne Levy

Jayne has a gentle and empathic approach, allowing clients to feel comfortable and relaxed as they begin therapy She offers a non-judgmental and confidential space where clients are safe to express their feelings and thoughts and explore some of the difficulties and challenges they may be experiencing As a humanistic integrative therapist, Jayne is guided by her...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Toulla Nicolaides
Toulla Nicolaides

Toulla is an integrative relational therapist using a combination of therapeutic approaches to help her clients She provides a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their difficulties in life, relationships and childhood and to share and resolve confusing and overwhelming feelings Toulla believes that, though challenging, therapy can help clients...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Marta Pisarri
Marta Pisarri

Marta is a psychologist and an integrative psychotherapist: she has been working in the field of mental health for over 12 years in both private and public sectors She provides psychotherapeutic support to individuals and families Marta provides individual therapy for those who struggle to manage life's challenges, want to improve their relationships, discard thoughts...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Natasha Maidment
Natasha Maidment

Natasha is a person–centred counsellor and psychotherapist who will provide you with a safe, empathetic and non-judgemental space to explore any thoughts or concerns you wish to bring She works with a range of issues including anxiety, stress, critical thoughts, trauma, relationship issues, identity, depression, loss and low self-esteem Natasha offers a...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Yussef Ferguson
Yussef Ferguson

Yussef is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who offers both long and short term personal therapy to individuals He has experience of working with a diverse range of clients and can provide a warm, confidential space to explore and gain insight into any past or present personal difficulties and experiences Yussef works with issues such as anxiety, depression, loss,...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Stamatia Lorentzou
Stamatia Lorentzou

A senior therapist, Stamatia has been with One Therapy London for many years She holds a doctorate in counselling psychology and is a registered psychotherapist Stamatia knows it can be difficult to understand or cope with the strong feelings that life’s experiences can sometimes bring Talking with an experienced therapist is a way of thinking things through and...

Bloomsbury