Bereavement counselling

For many of us, bereavement will be the most distressing experience of our lives.

 

Unsurprisingly, bereavement is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy: the death of a loved one can be devastating. An experienced therapist will support you through the difficult process of grieving and help you come to terms with your loss.

Understanding grief

Grief is how we feel when we lose someone we care about or something we value. It affects everyone. It is painful and stressful but also natural, normal and necessary.

Everyone experiences grief differently and there is no normal or right way to grieve. How we react is influenced by many things including our age, culture, religious beliefs and previous experiences of bereavement.

The way in which a person died may also have an impact on the grieving process: was the death by natural causes, an accident or suicide? Was the death sudden or expected? Could the death have been prevented if circumstances had been different?

Grief also changes over time. Reactions and feelings can change from hour to hour. Some people find these mood swings very frightening.

The stages of grief

People sometimes talk about the five stages of grief. These are:

  • denial – finding it hard to believe that your loved one is gone
  • anger that the person is gone, which may be directed at them, yourself, doctors, God, etc
  • bargaining – ruminating on if onlys and what ifs, trying to find ways the death could have been prevented
  • depression – feeling very low and empty, perhaps seeing little point in carrying on
  • acceptance that the death has happened and life must move on.
However, people rarely go neatly through these stages in order. More realistically, there is a lot of moving back and forth between stages. Some people try to rush through the stages, or to skip straight to acceptance. Grief cannot be rushed; the important thing is to allow yourself to feel what you feel, at your own pace.

Put your well-being in our experienced hands

We have helped many people come to terms with the loss of a loved one.

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Coping with loss

When someone close to you dies, there is a lot of change for you to come to terms with. The person you love is no longer part of your world. You may have to let go of dreams you had of your future with them. You may need to take on additional responsibilities now that they are not around. Or you may now have more time for yourself if you were caring for them. You may find your own grief is pushed aside so that you can support others who are also grieving. It’s a lot to deal with and it can feel overwhelming. 

If you are also handling practical matters around the death, it can feel even worse. People are often surprised by the volume of admin around death, how long it goes on and how unbearable it can feel to have to deal with practical matters when you are already in pain.

With such a lot to deal with, there are a host of different emotions as you go through grief and loss. Some of the most common are:

It can take some time for the reality of the death to sink in. You don’t want to believe that someone you love has died. The reality can feel almost too much to bear.

You’ve lost so much – the person, their love, their friendship, their companionship, intimacy, opportunities and hopes. And this loss may bring tremendous feelings of sadness.

You may feel guilty about things you said or did, or things you didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty that you are still alive, or that you have times when you feel happy or when you focus on something other than your loss.

Death can seem very unfair. Many people find it difficult to make sense of personal loss.

It’s natural to feel angry about what has been taken from you – the person who has died and the future you would have had with them. You might feel angry with yourself too, for what you did or did not do before they died. But perhaps most difficult of all, you might feel angry with the dead person for dying and abandoning you and for the pain you are suffering as a result of their death.

Grieving can be a lonely process. You may feel that no one can possibly understand what you are going through. And you may feel reluctant to talk to friends about how you’re feeling. Many people are awkward around the topic of death, so it can be hard to find someone who will be alongside you in your grief.

Grieving can bring on both physical and mental pain which can be overwhelming and frightening. Some people are surprised at how painful grieving can be.

You might feel relieved, especially if the death follows a long illness or if the person’s life had been difficult or uncomfortable in their final months.

Sometimes people worry that they’re not feeling enough about a death. They wonder why they’re not crying as much as those around them. It may be that they are subconsciously numbing their feelings. 

How bereavement counselling can help

Bereavement counselling will help you to process the complex feelings you may go through in your grief. They can be overwhelming at times, hard to get in touch with at other times, and often confusing. Talking to one of our London therapists will really help.

At a time when it can be hard to turn to friends and family, who may be going through their own grief, therapy provides a precious space where you can express yourself freely.

Our therapists aren’t awkward around death. They can hear your pain and anger without judging you or feeling overwhelmed by it.

Many people worry that grief will go on forever.  With the support of your therapist, the pain will gradually lessen and you will find a new way of living.

Both face-to-face and online counselling are available.

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Counselling for individuals

Personal counselling can be about anything that is on your mind.

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Couples counselling

Couples counselling provides space for couples to discuss problems in their relationship and find solutions.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Roz Urquhart

Roz is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, who offers both long- and short-term psychotherapy She works with a varied client group offering a welcoming, safe and confidential therapeutic space in which to help her clients explore and process the issues that are bringing them into therapy Roz supports her clients to focus on unconscious processes, inner conflicts and...

Oxford Circus

Natasha Maidment

Natasha is a person–centred counsellor and psychotherapist who will provide you with a safe, empathetic and non-judgemental space to explore any thoughts or concerns you wish to bring She works with a range of issues including anxiety, stress, critical thoughts, trauma, relationship issues, identity, depression, loss and low self-esteem Natasha offers a...

Oxford Circus

Yussef Ferguson

Yussef is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who offers both long and short term personal therapy to individuals He has experience of working with a diverse range of clients and can provide a warm, confidential space to explore and gain insight into any past or present personal difficulties and experiences Yussef works with issues such as anxiety, depression, loss,...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Rhiannon Whipps
Rhiannon Whipps

Rhiannon is a psychodynamic counsellor and psychotherapist with over ten years experience of working within the field of mental health Rhiannon provides an empathic and non-judgemental therapeutic space for her clients to explore any difficulties which they may be facing Within the safety of a confidential environment, she encourages her clients to openly explore...

Soho

Therapist Stamatia Lorentzou
Stamatia Lorentzou

Stamatia draws on a broad range of theories of psychotherapy She works collaboratively with her clients to understand the causes of their concern and find ways to move forward Stamatia offers both short-term and longer-term therapy She has worked in various organisational settings with individuals seeking to address relationship issues, low self esteem, separation,...

Bloomsbury

Therapist Barbara Perini
Barbara Perini

Barbara is an accredited member of BACP, holding an MSc in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and adhering to the BACP ethical framework Her approach is open-ended, offering both short-term and long-term therapy Barbara has also trained in Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy (DIT), a short-term (16 sessions), semi-structured individual therapy developed for mood...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Catherine Hammett
Catherine Hammett

Catherine offers a safe, confidential space for clients bringing a wide range of issues to therapy  These include anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship difficulties, anger and work-related stress  Catherine also supports clients experiencing depression, bereavement and life transitions  Among her specialist interests are post-traumatic growth and working with adult...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Evan Bates
Evan Bates

Evan is a psychodynamic therapist, offering both long and short term therapy He creates a non-judgemental and reflective space to help clients explore their difficulties and concerns Working together to understand the connections between past and current relationships, Evan supports clients in developing a deeper awareness of their recurring emotional patterns and further...

Soho

Therapist Mita Hiremath
Mita Hiremath

Mita has been involved in the field of counselling and psychotherapy for over 30 years and has a wealth of experience working in the voluntary sector, the NHS and private practice She is a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist Additionally, she holds an MSc in Psychotherapy and is a trained EMDR therapist She has also facilitated support groups in the voluntary...

Bloomsbury

Therapist Silvi Naskinova
Silvi Naskinova

Silvi is a psychodynamic psychotherapist offering both long- and short-term therapy  She aims to provide a safe, supportive and non-judgmental space for her clients to explore whatever is on their minds Her work helps individuals understand how their experiences (both past and present) and any unconscious forces might be impacting their relationships and ways of coping...

Oxford Circus