Self-harm

Self-harming is not so much a deliberate attempt to hurt oneself, but more an attempt to feel better in times of distress.

We know that someone who self-harms is usually in a state of high distress. The self-harming behaviour is often an attempt to alleviate this distress. 

People who self-harm sometimes feel self-harming is the only way out of these feelings. They may not have other sources of support, so self-harm may be the only way they can find to soothe themselves.

While the self-harming behaviour provides an immediate release from their distress, it may be followed by other difficult feelings including:

  • confusion – it can be very puzzling to want to inflict pain on oneself
  • hopelessness – if they are trying to stop self-harming, they may feel hopeless in the face of their urges to do it
  • shame – people may judge themselves and feel ashamed for not being able to cope without self-harm
  • loneliness – self-harm is usually done in private and people can feel alone with it.

 This can create a cycle where these painful feelings trigger further self-harm.

Types of self-harm

The Royal College of Psychiatrists estimates that about 1 in 10 young people self-harm. However, self-harming behaviours can be found in people of all ages. Young women are more likely to self-harm than young men, though the reasons for this are unclear.

There are many ways that people self-harm. Cutting or burning the skin and pulling out hair are examples, as are binge drinking, having unsafe sex, not eating and excessive drug taking. There are many others.

Some people plan self-harm in advance while, for others, self-harm happens on the spur of the moment. Some people self-harm only once or twice, while others self-harm regularly. 

Self-harming behaviour is usually triggered by a distressing event. Some people will know what triggers their self-harm while others will have little understanding of what triggers them.

 

Client Reviews

Getting to the bottom of the problem

The focus of counselling for self-harm is to understand the underlying causes. It can be a relief to the client to make sense of their behaviour, and that alone can reduce the pressure they feel and lessen their urge to self-harm.

Once they understand the causes, the client and therapist can also explore changes that the client can make. These may be aimed at reducing triggers or at finding other ways of coping when triggered.

The therapist’s understanding of the client can also make a huge difference. There’s something very powerful about having someone listen to you, understand what you’ve been through and appreciate how hard it’s been for you. When you experience that, you may feel more compassion for yourself.

Lasting results through counselling

Self-harming behaviour is usually treated through counselling or psychotherapy. Medication is not normally used for self-harm.

Our counsellors and psychotherapists have a great deal of experience working with people who self-harm. They are warm, empathic and non-judgmental. All sessions are confidential.

We know that it can be hard to talk about self-harm, and we won’t push you to discuss anything before you feel ready.

You can book an initial consultation online or by contacting us. It’s an opportunity to find out if counselling feels right for you, with no obligation to continue.

It may not be an easy step to take, but we think you’ll be glad you did.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Roz Urquhart

Roz is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, who offers both long- and short-term psychotherapy She works with a varied client group offering a welcoming, safe and confidential therapeutic space in which to help her clients explore and process the issues that are bringing them into therapy Roz supports her clients to focus on unconscious processes, inner conflicts and...

Oxford Circus

Natasha Maidment

Natasha is a person–centred counsellor and psychotherapist who will provide you with a safe, empathetic and non-judgemental space to explore any thoughts or concerns you wish to bring She works with a range of issues including anxiety, stress, critical thoughts, trauma, relationship issues, identity, depression, loss and low self-esteem Natasha offers a...

Oxford Circus

Yussef Ferguson

Yussef is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who offers both long and short term personal therapy to individuals He has experience of working with a diverse range of clients and can provide a warm, confidential space to explore and gain insight into any past or present personal difficulties and experiences Yussef works with issues such as anxiety, depression, loss,...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Rhiannon Whipps
Rhiannon Whipps

Rhiannon is a psychodynamic counsellor and psychotherapist with over ten years experience of working within the field of mental health Rhiannon provides an empathic and non-judgemental therapeutic space for her clients to explore any difficulties which they may be facing Within the safety of a confidential environment, she encourages her clients to openly explore...

Soho

Therapist Stamatia Lorentzou
Stamatia Lorentzou

Stamatia draws on a broad range of theories of psychotherapy She works collaboratively with her clients to understand the causes of their concern and find ways to move forward Stamatia offers both short-term and longer-term therapy She has worked in various organisational settings with individuals seeking to address relationship issues, low self esteem, separation,...

Bloomsbury

Therapist Barbara Perini
Barbara Perini

Barbara is an accredited member of BACP, holding an MSc in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and adhering to the BACP ethical framework Her approach is open-ended, offering both short-term and long-term therapy Barbara has also trained in Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy (DIT), a short-term (16 sessions), semi-structured individual therapy developed for mood...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Catherine Hammett
Catherine Hammett

Catherine offers a safe, confidential space for clients bringing a wide range of issues to therapy  These include anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship difficulties, anger and work-related stress  Catherine also supports clients experiencing depression, bereavement and life transitions  Among her specialist interests are post-traumatic growth and working with adult...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Evan Bates
Evan Bates

Evan is a psychodynamic therapist, offering both long and short term therapy He creates a non-judgemental and reflective space to help clients explore their difficulties and concerns Working together to understand the connections between past and current relationships, Evan supports clients in developing a deeper awareness of their recurring emotional patterns and further...

Soho

Therapist Mita Hiremath
Mita Hiremath

Mita has been involved in the field of counselling and psychotherapy for over 30 years and has a wealth of experience working in the voluntary sector, the NHS and private practice She is a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist Additionally, she holds an MSc in Psychotherapy and is a trained EMDR therapist She has also facilitated support groups in the voluntary...

Bloomsbury

Therapist Silvi Naskinova
Silvi Naskinova

Silvi is a psychodynamic psychotherapist offering both long- and short-term therapy  She aims to provide a safe, supportive and non-judgmental space for her clients to explore whatever is on their minds Her work helps individuals understand how their experiences (both past and present) and any unconscious forces might be impacting their relationships and ways of coping...

Oxford Circus