Self-harm

Self-harming is not so much a deliberate attempt to hurt oneself, but more an attempt to feel better in times of distress.

We know that someone who self-harms is usually in a state of high distress. The self-harming behaviour is often an attempt to alleviate this distress. 

People who self-harm sometimes feel self-harming is the only way out of these feelings. They may not have other sources of support, so self-harm may be the only way they can find to soothe themselves.

While the self-harming behaviour provides an immediate release from their distress, it may be followed by other difficult feelings including:

  • confusion – it can be very puzzling to want to inflict pain on oneself
  • hopelessness – if they are trying to stop self-harming, they may feel hopeless in the face of their urges to do it
  • shame – people may judge themselves and feel ashamed for not being able to cope without self-harm
  • loneliness – self-harm is usually done in private and people can feel alone with it.

 This can create a cycle where these painful feelings trigger further self-harm.

Types of self-harm

The Royal College of Psychiatrists estimates that about 1 in 10 young people self-harm. However, self-harming behaviours can be found in people of all ages. Young women are more likely to self-harm than young men, though the reasons for this are unclear.

There are many ways that people self-harm. Cutting or burning the skin and pulling out hair are examples, as are binge drinking, having unsafe sex, not eating and excessive drug taking. There are many others.

Some people plan self-harm in advance while, for others, self-harm happens on the spur of the moment. Some people self-harm only once or twice, while others self-harm regularly. 

Self-harming behaviour is usually triggered by a distressing event. Some people will know what triggers their self-harm while others will have little understanding of what triggers them.

Our clients have reported great results!

Mr K
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“I was attending sessions at One Therapy practice for about 1 1/2 years. I am very happy with the result, sessions there really helped me. I am really grateful to my therapist. Someone recommended him to me as a high professional and it proved right, thank you.”
Mrs M
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“I can only provide positive comments on my sessions with (my therapist). This was my first experience with a therapist, and she managed to make me feel comfortable. And I must say that the sessions were helpful and efficient.”
Mrs E
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“My therapist was extremely helpful, considerate and understanding. I felt she properly understood what the issues I had were, and their underlying causes, and I feel I benefited considerably from the sessions with her.”
Mrs N
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“I immediately felt completely at ease as they were very professional while showing genuine care and interest in helping me. I was able to confront many issues which I had so far chosen to ignore despite their negative effects on my personal relationships and happiness. I would have no hesitation in recommending (One Therapy) to anyone looking to improve their relationships and self-esteem.”
Mrs L
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“I learned a lot about myself and about the relationships I make with other people. I was able to see where I was going wrong and I now make better personal choices. Thank you, again.”
Mrs R
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“I can’t thank you enough for the help and support I got from my appointments. I would highly recommend therapy to anyone now. Therapy helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. Please tell (my therapist) how grateful I am for her help.”

Getting to the bottom of the problem

The focus of counselling for self-harm is to understand the underlying causes. It can be a relief to the client to make sense of their behaviour, and that alone can reduce the pressure they feel and lessen their urge to self-harm.

Once they understand the causes, the client and therapist can also explore changes that the client can make. These may be aimed at reducing triggers or at finding other ways of coping when triggered.

The therapist’s understanding of the client can also make a huge difference. There’s something very powerful about having someone listen to you, understand what you’ve been through and appreciate how hard it’s been for you. When you experience that, you may feel more compassion for yourself.

Lasting results through counselling

Self-harming behaviour is usually treated through counselling or psychotherapy. Medication is not normally used for self-harm.

Our counsellors and psychotherapists have a great deal of experience working with people who self-harm. They are warm, empathic and non-judgmental. All sessions are confidential.

We know that it can be hard to talk about self-harm, and we won’t push you to discuss anything before you feel ready.

You can book an initial consultation online or by contacting us. It’s an opportunity to find out if counselling feels right for you, with no obligation to continue.

It may not be an easy step to take, but we think you’ll be glad you did.

What do I talk about in counselling?

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Does talking help?

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Counselling for individuals

Personal counselling can be about anything that is on your mind.

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Couples counselling

Couples counselling provides space for couples to discuss problems in their relationship and find solutions.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Therapist Jayne Levy
Jayne Levy

Jayne has a gentle and empathic approach, allowing clients to feel comfortable and relaxed as they begin therapy She offers a non-judgmental and confidential space where clients are safe to express their feelings and thoughts and explore some of the difficulties and challenges they may be experiencing As a humanistic integrative therapist, Jayne is guided by her...

Kensington

Lara Vasey

Lara is an integrative therapist who offers short- and longer-term therapy to individuals Starting therapy can feel daunting, but Lara’s warm demeanour helps her clients feel more comfortable She creates a confidential and non-judgemental environment, which enables her clients to open up about their thoughts, feelings and experiences With empathy and curiosity, her...

Kensington

Therapist Ben Brackenbury
Ben Brackenbury

Ben believes that at times we all struggle with the challenges life has to offer and therapy provides a safe, confidential, non-judgemental space to explore this Ben works with individuals to make sense of who they are and how they respond to the world today, and to explore new ways of being Ben is also sensitive to how difficult it might be for a client to talk to a...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Janis Dellner
Janis Dellner

Janis offers an empathic, non-judgmental and safe environment where her clients can explore the issues that are currently troubling them  Janis works collaboratively to explore and challenge thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are no longer serving her clients’ wellbeing, interests and relationships with themselves and others  She believes it is through the...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Nicola Reeves
Nicola Reeves

Nicola is a psychodynamic psychotherapist and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapist Nicola believes in giving clients time and space to approach therapy in the way they need to approach it She finds this is the best way to develop a therapeutic relationship that allows feelings to be truly explored and evaluated As a psychodynamic...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Ben Marks
Ben Marks

Ben is an experienced psychotherapist who has helped many people through difficult times in their lives He works with clients with a wide range of personal issues around depression, anxiety, bereavement, trauma, abuse, loneliness, stresses within the workplace, low self esteem, relationship and sexual problems including performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction and...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Antonella Bonetti
Antonella Bonetti

Antonella is a psychodynamic therapist offering short- and long-term therapy to adults She also sees couples facing issues within their relationship Since obtaining her Master’s degree in Psychodynamic Counselling and Psychotherapy, Antonella has worked in different organisational settings (charities, NHS and university counselling services) helping people from...

Bloomsbury

Kensington

Therapist Yussef Ferguson
Yussef Ferguson

Yussef is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who offers both long and short term personal therapy to individuals He has experience of working with a diverse range of clients and can provide a warm, confidential space to explore and gain insight into any past or present personal difficulties and experiences Yussef works with issues such as anxiety, depression, loss,...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Asma Gharbi
Asma Gharbi

Asma offers psychodynamic, humanistic and integrative therapies to individuals and couples She tailors her approach to meet the needs and preferences of her clients She offers short and long term therapy Asma provides a non-judgemental space for her clients, where they can feel safe to explore their feelings, make sense of their experiences and forge deep lasting...

Oxford Circus

Kensington

Therapist Marta Pisarri
Marta Pisarri

Marta is a psychologist and an integrative psychotherapist: she has been working in the field of mental health for over 12 years in both private and public sectors She provides psychotherapeutic support to individuals and families Marta provides individual therapy for those who struggle to manage life's challenges, want to improve their relationships, discard thoughts...

Oxford Circus