Ageing, death and dying

Although we all know that one day we will die, we are generally reluctant to think about death. We live our lives as if we are going to be around forever.

This avoidance of thoughts around death is a natural defence. It would be very distressing if our own mortality was constantly at the front of our minds. However, as we get older or face illness, reality breaks through the defence and we are sometimes confronted with painful thoughts and feelings about dying.

Talking about our mortality with loved ones can be challenging, particularly when they still want to deny the inevitable. That’s when therapy can be really helpful. A therapist can listen to your distress without pushing it away or being overwhelmed by it. Just speaking your thoughts and feelings about death out loud can be very healing in itself.

You may also feel confused or conflicted about your mortality. Our ideas about death and the meaning of life are shaped by our culture, religion and family, as well as our previous experiences of others’ deaths. Understanding these influences in therapy will help you to accept your mortality with clarity.

Those who know they are going to die soon often experience a whole mix of emotions, and it can be helpful to explore these in counselling. They may feel relief that their pain will end, sadness about leaving their loved ones, anger that their life is being cut short, anxiety around what comes after death, and more.

The challenges of older age

Ageing brings many challenges aside from the increased awareness of mortality. It can be frightening and frustrating, especially in a culture that celebrates youth. 

Growing older may involve, for example:

  • losing friends and loved ones
  • loneliness and isolation
  • regrets over how you’ve lived your life
  • fear and frustration around any physical deterioration
  • worry about the future

Of course, the later stages of life can be a happy time too. Often people have mixed feelings about ageing. For those who are struggling, though, counselling can help. 

Sadly, counselling still has a stigma among some older people. Fearful of being seen as weak, they endeavour to deal with their pain alone. There’s nothing weak about coming to therapy. It’s a brave decision and one that can improve your life immeasurably.

Our clients have reported great results!

Mr K
“I was attending sessions at One Therapy practice for about 1 1/2 years. I am very happy with the result, sessions there really helped me. I am really grateful to my therapist. Someone recommended him to me as a high professional and it proved right, thank you.”
Mrs M
“I can only provide positive comments on my sessions with (my therapist). This was my first experience with a therapist, and she managed to make me feel comfortable. And I must say that the sessions were helpful and efficient.”
Mrs E
“My therapist was extremely helpful, considerate and understanding. I felt she properly understood what the issues I had were, and their underlying causes, and I feel I benefited considerably from the sessions with her.”
Mrs N
“I immediately felt completely at ease as they were very professional while showing genuine care and interest in helping me. I was able to confront many issues which I had so far chosen to ignore despite their negative effects on my personal relationships and happiness. I would have no hesitation in recommending (One Therapy) to anyone looking to improve their relationships and self-esteem.”
Mrs L
“I learned a lot about myself and about the relationships I make with other people. I was able to see where I was going wrong and I now make better personal choices. Thank you, again.”
Mrs R
“I can’t thank you enough for the help and support I got from my appointments. I would highly recommend therapy to anyone now. Therapy helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. Please tell (my therapist) how grateful I am for her help.”

Death anxiety in younger adults

Death anxiety is fairly common in people of all ages, even when death is not imminent. Healthy younger people can become hyper-aware of their own mortality, leading to a persistent and irrational fear of death. 

Anxiety about death can be very distressing and may prevent people from engaging fully in life. Often, anxiety around death is inherited, so it can be useful to explore your family’s attitudes to death in therapy. In this way, you will develop a more realistic, less anxious relationship with death.

Death anxiety can also follow trauma. Near-death experiences naturally make us more aware of our mortality. For some this can feel positive, encouraging them to live life to the fullest. For others, life following the trauma feels too dangerous and they restrict their activities to keep risks at bay. Therapy can help with the fear and support the client to, at their own pace, start living more fully again.

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How does therapy help?

Over the years that I’ve worked as a therapist, I’ve been asked numerous times by prospective clients, “How does counselling help?”  And I’ve yet to come up with a satisfactory answer. Not because I’m in any doubt that it helps, but because the ‘how’ bit is so hard to articulate concisely…

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Counselling for individuals

Personal counselling can be about anything that is on your mind.

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Couples counselling

Couples counselling provides space for couples to discuss problems in their relationship and find solutions.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Geraldine Abberton - Therapist
Geraldine Abberton

Geraldine is an integrative therapist who draws on a range of therapeutic approaches including person-centred, CBT and psychodynamic modalities, to meet each client’s unique needs She believes in her clients’ innate resilience and capacity for growth, and helps them make sense of current challenges and past experiences, to gain the insight and self-understanding...

Oxford Circus

Annabelle Hird - Therapist
Annabelle Hird

Annabelle is a skilled and compassionate therapist offering support for individuals and couples in Kensington/Notting Hill Her approach is centred around creating a non-judgemental space for clients to explore their thoughts, feelings and relationships It is her belief that with greater understanding comes agency, and this is when powerful change occurs Annabelle works...

Kensington / Notting Hill

Annabel Lear - Therapist
Annabel Lear

Annabel is an integrative therapist offering both short- and long-term therapy Acknowledging that beginning therapy can feel daunting, Annabel establishes a secure and collaborative therapeutic relationship grounded in trust, empathy and genuine understanding Working from a humanistic-integrative perspective, Annabel believes every person has an innate capacity for...

Oxford Circus

Melinda Shalet - Therapist
Melinda Shalet

Melinda offers both short-term and long-term therapy in a calm, attuned environment where clients can speak freely, make meaningful connections and gently explore the areas of life that feel stuck With a warm, collaborative approach, she encourages clients to slow down, listen inwardly and begin the process of healing Drawing from humanistic, Gestalt and psychodynamic...

Oxford Circus

Prachi Vij - Therapist
Prachi Vij

As a psychodynamic therapist, Prachi provides a warm and secure space for her clients to explore their world She works collaboratively with clients to uncover the unconscious patterns that shape their feelings, thoughts, and behaviours By making connections between past experiences and current life, clients can gain valuable insights and develop more authentic ways of...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Yussef Ferguson
Yussef Ferguson

Yussef offers a warm and confidential space to explore life’s challenges He is a psychodynamic therapist and works in a way that explores how past experiences and hidden patterns may shape your present thoughts, feelings and relationships In meetings with Yussef, you can speak freely about whatever feelings, memories or experiences are important to you You will begin...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Stamatia Lorentzou
Stamatia Lorentzou

A senior therapist, Stamatia has been with One Therapy London for many years She holds a doctorate in counselling psychology and is a registered psychotherapist Stamatia knows it can be difficult to understand or cope with the strong feelings that life’s experiences can sometimes bring Talking with an experienced therapist is a way of thinking things through and...

Bloomsbury

James Eve - Therapist
James Eve

James is a psychosexual and relationship therapist who has been in private practice for five years He works with individuals and couples on sexual and relationship difficulties, understanding that these can be significant causes of distress in one's life Prior to working in private practice, James worked for the psychosexual team at Croydon University Hospital He is a...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Tom Leonard
Tom Leonard

Tom works with both couples and individuals  His approach integrates different styles of therapy to help find the best way to assist you  Therapy is often a self-exploration, with the therapist supporting you in seeking to reach a better understanding of and connection to your needs, feelings and behaviour and the ways in which they affect your relationships and...

Oxford Circus

Damla Ciftcioglu - Therapist
Berrak Damla Çiftcioğlu

Damla offers a warm, supportive and confidential space where you can talk openly — perhaps for the first time — about the thoughts, emotions and challenges shaping your life She provides psychodynamic psychotherapy, gently exploring the deeper, often unconscious, roots of emotional difficulties Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, stuck in unhelpful patterns, or...

Oxford Circus