Ageing, death and dying

Although we all know that one day we will die, we are generally reluctant to think about death. We live our lives as if we are going to be around forever.

This avoidance of thoughts around death is a natural defence. It would be very distressing if our own mortality was constantly at the front of our minds. However, as we get older or face illness, reality breaks through the defence and we are sometimes confronted with painful thoughts and feelings about dying.

Talking about our mortality with loved ones can be challenging, particularly when they still want to deny the inevitable. That’s when therapy can be really helpful. A therapist can listen to your distress without pushing it away or being overwhelmed by it. Just speaking your thoughts and feelings about death out loud can be very healing in itself.

You may also feel confused or conflicted about your mortality. Our ideas about death and the meaning of life are shaped by our culture, religion and family, as well as our previous experiences of others’ deaths. Understanding these influences in therapy will help you to accept your mortality with clarity.

Those who know they are going to die soon often experience a whole mix of emotions, and it can be helpful to explore these in counselling. They may feel relief that their pain will end, sadness about leaving their loved ones, anger that their life is being cut short, anxiety around what comes after death, and more.

The challenges of older age

Ageing brings many challenges aside from the increased awareness of mortality. It can be frightening and frustrating, especially in a culture that celebrates youth. 

Growing older may involve, for example:

  • losing friends and loved ones
  • loneliness and isolation
  • regrets over how you’ve lived your life
  • fear and frustration around any physical deterioration
  • worry about the future

Of course, the later stages of life can be a happy time too. Often people have mixed feelings about ageing. For those who are struggling, though, counselling can help. 

Sadly, counselling still has a stigma among some older people. Fearful of being seen as weak, they endeavour to deal with their pain alone. There’s nothing weak about coming to therapy. It’s a brave decision and one that can improve your life immeasurably.

Our clients have reported great results!

Mr K
“I was attending sessions at One Therapy practice for about 1 1/2 years. I am very happy with the result, sessions there really helped me. I am really grateful to my therapist. Someone recommended him to me as a high professional and it proved right, thank you.”
Mrs M
“I can only provide positive comments on my sessions with (my therapist). This was my first experience with a therapist, and she managed to make me feel comfortable. And I must say that the sessions were helpful and efficient.”
Mrs E
“My therapist was extremely helpful, considerate and understanding. I felt she properly understood what the issues I had were, and their underlying causes, and I feel I benefited considerably from the sessions with her.”
Mrs N
“I immediately felt completely at ease as they were very professional while showing genuine care and interest in helping me. I was able to confront many issues which I had so far chosen to ignore despite their negative effects on my personal relationships and happiness. I would have no hesitation in recommending (One Therapy) to anyone looking to improve their relationships and self-esteem.”
Mrs L
“I learned a lot about myself and about the relationships I make with other people. I was able to see where I was going wrong and I now make better personal choices. Thank you, again.”
Mrs R
“I can’t thank you enough for the help and support I got from my appointments. I would highly recommend therapy to anyone now. Therapy helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. Please tell (my therapist) how grateful I am for her help.”

Death anxiety in younger adults

Death anxiety is fairly common in people of all ages, even when death is not imminent. Healthy younger people can become hyper-aware of their own mortality, leading to a persistent and irrational fear of death. 

Anxiety about death can be very distressing and may prevent people from engaging fully in life. Often, anxiety around death is inherited, so it can be useful to explore your family’s attitudes to death in therapy. In this way, you will develop a more realistic, less anxious relationship with death.

Death anxiety can also follow trauma. Near-death experiences naturally make us more aware of our mortality. For some this can feel positive, encouraging them to live life to the fullest. For others, life following the trauma feels too dangerous and they restrict their activities to keep risks at bay. Therapy can help with the fear and support the client to, at their own pace, start living more fully again.

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How does therapy help?

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Counselling for individuals

Personal counselling can be about anything that is on your mind.

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Couples counselling

Couples counselling provides space for couples to discuss problems in their relationship and find solutions.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Rebecca Kendall - Therapist
Rebecca Kendall

Rebecca is a psychodynamic psychotherapist offering short-term and long-term individual therapy She works with a wide range of issues including anxiety, depression, identity and feelings of difference, eating disorders and bereavement Rebecca works non-judgementally and compassionately to build a therapeutic relationship with her clients She has considerable experience...

Oxford Circus

Melinda Shalet - Therapist
Melinda Shalet

Melinda is an integrative therapist, offering a tailored approach to suit each client’s individual requirements She brings to her practice an understanding of high‑pressure environments shaped by her 20‑year career in the financial sector Melinda’s clients find her calm, compassionate and thoughtful approach to be transformative As therapy progresses,...

Oxford Circus

Geraldine Abberton - Therapist
Geraldine Abberton

Geraldine is an integrative therapist who draws on a range of therapeutic approaches including person-centred, CBT and psychodynamic modalities, to meet each client’s unique needs She believes in her clients’ innate resilience and capacity for growth, and helps them make sense of current challenges and past experiences, to gain the insight and self-understanding...

Oxford Circus

Annabel Lear - Therapist
Annabel Lear

Annabel is an integrative therapist offering both short- and long-term therapy Acknowledging that beginning therapy can feel daunting, Annabel establishes a secure and collaborative therapeutic relationship grounded in trust, empathy and genuine understanding Working from a humanistic-integrative perspective, Annabel believes every person has an innate capacity for...

Oxford Circus

Annabelle Hird - Therapist
Annabelle Hird

Annabelle is a skilled and compassionate therapist offering support for individuals and couples in Kensington/Notting Hill Her approach is centred around creating a non-judgemental space for clients to explore their thoughts, feelings and relationships It is her belief that with greater understanding comes agency, and this is when powerful change occurs Annabelle works...

Kensington / Notting Hill

Prachi Vij - Therapist
Prachi Vij

As a psychodynamic therapist, Prachi provides a warm and secure space for her clients to explore their world She works collaboratively with clients to uncover the unconscious patterns that shape their feelings, thoughts, and behaviours By making connections between past experiences and current life, clients can gain valuable insights and develop more authentic ways of...

Oxford Circus

Christine Andreasen - Therapist
Christine Andreasen

Christine (she/her) is an integrative counsellor, relationship therapist and psychosexual therapist She offers a warm and safe space to individuals and couples, with room for both tears and laughter Her approach is relational, curious and personal, focusing on understanding what makes each individual unique She works alongside her clients as they explore their...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Stamatia Lorentzou
Stamatia Lorentzou

A senior therapist, Stamatia has been with One Therapy London for many years She holds a doctorate in counselling psychology and is a registered psychotherapist Stamatia knows it can be difficult to understand or cope with the strong feelings that life’s experiences can sometimes bring Talking with an experienced therapist is a way of thinking things through and...

Bloomsbury

Therapist Yussef Ferguson
Yussef Ferguson

Yussef offers a warm and confidential space to explore life’s challenges He is a psychodynamic therapist and works in a way that explores how past experiences and hidden patterns may shape your present thoughts, feelings and relationships In meetings with Yussef, you can speak freely about whatever feelings, memories or experiences are important to you You will begin...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Barbara Beyaz
Barbara Beyaz

Barbara brings a warm, non-judgmental, and accepting attitude to her work with clients As an integrative Psychotherapist, she draws from a range of theoretical perspectives which allows her to tailor therapy to the needs of the client Barbara thinks that healing and individual growth happen when difficulties in living are explored with empathy, and the client's unique...

Oxford Circus